про Москву

[shiro_ki]

зимнее небо
бело от летящих
к югу облаков

тёплая зима
на зелёном газоне
остов снеговика

праздник проходит
сквозь заборчик детсада
орава щенков

Comments

[andreochka.livejournal.com]

Hi, Natasha!

праздник проходит
сквозь заборчик детсада
орава щенков

end of the holiday--
behind the garden's fence
full of puppies

this is my translation/interpretation of the last one... maybe?
hoping that you like it! :-)

Cheers! пока!
:-))

thank you!

[shiro-ki.livejournal.com]

Dear Andrea, you are swift as a lightning :)
something alike, but it's kindergarten, "садик" in colloquial Russian, so through the... eeeh... how to say?
it was difficult to do rather in Russian... holiday passes... homeless puppies walking along the fence of the kindergarten, where's no one to watch them and no one to hue them away... sad picture :)

Re: thank you!

[andreochka.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for my bad translation...

holiday passes--
in the old kindergarten
puppies anymore

(???)

[shiro-ki.livejournal.com]

the translation is not bad - haiku itself lacks the necessary clarity, i see it now... needs improvement... thank you!

[andreochka.livejournal.com]

Thanks to you dear Natash!! I do apologizes again, but I don't think that your Ku lacks of clearness... your style is LIMPID and the haiku is well done! I think that these lines may be given more interpretations...

Sincerly

Andrea

[ch-olala.livejournal.com]

щенки - задорные
остов - нежный
небо - тёплое
:)

[shiro-ki.livejournal.com]

:)